Papa, Can You Hear Me?
by TheNorthernBelle
Summary: Leia finally has a chance to grieve for her family.


So the other day I was re-watching episodes of Glee and as soon as I heard Rachel sing "Papa, Can You Hear Me" from the episode "Grilled Cheesus," I knew I had to write this story. I get chills every time I hear this song, and I could just picture Leia doing something along these lines. Well, maybe she wouldn't actually sing, but if you think she would, then you can pretend that she is. Song lyrics are in italics.

I don't own Glee or Star Wars or the song or the Princess Bride quote I put in at the end. Enjoy!

**Papa Can You Hear Me?**

The battle was won, the awards ceremony was over, and the celebrations were just beginning. The Rebel Alliance had struck a huge blow against the Empire by destroying the Death Star and everyone at the Rebel base on Yavin IV was in a euphoric mood.

Well. Almost everyone.

Leia had managed to sneak away from the party and was now wandering through the trees that bordered one of the ancient Massassi temples. She just could not stand the smiling faces anymore. Yes, she was glad they had won and that that _kriffing _Death Star was gone, but…

But Bail was also gone. So was Breha. So was Alderaan.

Noticing a clearing up ahead, Leia took a moment to pay closer attention to her surroundings. She saw that part of the outer temple wall had been carved away to form a sort of grotto. Stone benches had been carved out, as well as rows of shallow shelves. Dozens of candle stubs littered the shelves, giving Leia a clue as to what this grotto had been used for; she remembered reading about different cultures that would honor the memory of those who had died by lighting candles for them.

She slowly knelt down on a bench, facing the wall of candles. She didn't care about the dust or dirt. In that moment, all she cared about was finally getting the chance to grieve.

Leia quickly dug in the pouch at her side, searching for the lighter she knew was in there. Then, checking to make sure she was alone, she lit a candle with a trembling hand.

"Papa?" she whispered into the night. She focused on the flickering flame and just let the words come to her.

"_May the light of this flickering candle illuminate the night the way your spirit illuminates my soul."_

"_Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you see me? Papa can you hear me in the night? Papa, are you near me? Papa, can you hear me? Papa, can you help me not be frightened?"_

It was true that Leia was frightened, though she would never admit to anyone else. What would she do without Bail? He was her rock, her voice of reason. Could she continue fighting in this war without his support and guidance?

Leia's gaze shifted to the stars above, remembering the old Alderaanian legend that the stars were actually the spirits of the Kings of the past.

"_Looking at the skies I seem to see a million eyes; which ones are yours? Where are you now that yesterday has come and gone and closed its doors?"_

She glanced back at the growing darkness and barely managed to suppress a shudder. All of a sudden it seemed like she was five years old again and needed her Papa to tell her not to be afraid of the dark.

"_The night is so much darker. The wind is so much colder. The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone."_

Deep down inside she knew she was not truly alone. She knew that Luke and Han would always be there for her, but it just wasn't the same. Knowing that she could never go back to Alderaan tore at her heart. And knowing that it was all her fault…

"_Papa, please forgive me. Try to understand me. Papa, don't you know I had no choice?"_

Would Bail have made the same choice? Leia though he would have, given that were both so dedicated to the Alliance's cause. Part of her knew that Tarkin would have destroyed Alderaan no matter what answer she gave him, but that did nothing to stop her from blaming herself. She knew she would live with this guilt for the rest of her life. All she could do was continue to pray for forgiveness from all those lost souls.

"_Can you hear me praying, anything I'm saying, even though the night is filled with voices?"_

"_I remember everything you taught me, every book 1've ever read. Can all the words in all the books help me to face what lies ahead?"_

Could the mere memory of Bail's voice keep her going? Bail had raised her to be a proper Princess and Senator, as well as to be a good leader in the Rebellion. Would the lessons hold? Could she make Bail proud of all her future actions?

"_The trees are so much taller, and I feel so much smaller. The moon is twice as lonely and the stars are half as bright." _

Nothing would be the same. Leia knew that over the coming weeks every small thing would remind her of Bail. If she wasn't careful, these feelings could take over. She had to be strong. Bail would not want her to fall apart, especially when there so much left to be done. He would want her to carry on and help the Alliance in every way possible.

But she would always miss him.

"_Papa, how I love you. Papa, how I need you. Papa, how I miss you kissing me good night."_

"Princess?"

Leia scrubbed frantically at her eyes, not wanting him to see her crying. "H-Han?"

Han sat down beside her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "What are you doing out here? You're missing the party," he tried to joke.

Leia gestured at the candle in front of her. "I was just saying goodbye. It might seem silly, but-"

"No, I understand," Han said softly. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just…sit with me?"

With her looking at him like that, Han just couldn't say no. "As you wish."

And with those words, Leia knew that she would make it through this loss.


End file.
